Horseplay… Jerry Sandusky Gives Horses a Bad Name

Well, if this is what he means by "Horseplay," then it all makes sense.

NEW YORK — Former Penn State football assistant coach, Jerry Sandusky, charged with sexually abusing eight boys in a scandal that has rocked the university said Monday that there was no abuse and that any activities in a campus shower with a boy were just horseplay, not molestation.

In a telephone interview Monday night on NBC News’ “Rock Center,” Bob Costas asked Sandusky if he’s a pedophile and Sandusky responded, “No.”

Meanwhile, The New York Times reported on its website late Monday that close to 10 additional suspected victims have come forward to authorities since Sandusky’s arrest, according to people close to the investigation. The paper said police were working to confirm the new allegations.

When asked if he was attracted to young boys, He paused and repeated the question.  Another way of saying, “Yes.” My recommendation to him would be 25-30 of the tranquilizer of his choice, washed down with a fifth of fine, aged, single-malt scotch.  Actually, any scotch will do.– BEREZ

               
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This post was written by BerezObama on November 15, 2011 Comments Off

Irreconcilable Indifference: Kim Calls it Quits

Word is, with the NBA on strike, he's either been doing too much "Balling," or not enough.

Their wedding reportedly cost as much as $10 million … all that for 72 days? That’s $138,888 each day. According to the website TMZ, socialite and reality-TV star Kim Kardashian has filed for divorce from NBA star Kris Humphries a little more than two months after getting married, on Aug. 20. TMZ said there will be no annulment, as Kardashian cited “irreconcilable differences.” Ryan Seacrest, who produces Kardashian’s E! show, confirmed the news. Kardashian’s lawyer is reportedly Laura Wasser, who has represented Britney Spears, Maria Shriver, Angelina Jolie, Ryan Reynolds, and Mel Gibson’s ex-wife, Robyn. The couple has a prenuptial agreement. Humphries said he’s “devastated” to learn of the divorce. “I love my wife,” he said in a statement Monday. “I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make it work.”

This “story” gives me the perfect opportunity to illustrate the difference between a big story and an important story.  I trust you have figured out what this is.–BEREZ

               
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This post was written by BerezObama on October 31, 2011 Comments Off

The Pepperoni Doesn’t Fall Far From Pizza; Cain Harassed Co-Worker

"Can't a brother get a break??" Apparently not.

“I have never sexually harassed anyone, let’s say that. Secondly, I’ve never sexually harassed anyone, and yes, I was falsely accused while I was at the National Restaurant Association, and I say falsely, because it turned out, after the investigation, to be baseless. The people mentioned in that article were the ones who would be aware of any misdoings, and they have attested to my integrity and my character. It is totally baseless, and totally false, never have I committed any sort of sexual harassment,” Herman Cain told FOX News about claims from Politico that he was involved in the sexual harassment of two former employees.

I’m not sure what’s more disturbing, the allegations of sexual harassment, or the fact that he seemed so totally unprepared to deal with a bombshell that he had to know was coming.  Actually I am sure.  The second part.–BEREZ

               
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This post was written by BerezObama on October 31, 2011 Comments Off

Cain Strongly “Pro-Life”… Except for Fetuses

I'm pro-choice AND pro-life! If it's good enough for Romney it's good enough for me!

WASHINGTON — The first signs of real damage to Herman Cain’s campaign emerged Thursday as his position on abortion — that he is personally anti-abortion but believes it’s “not the government’s role … to make that decision” — began to register with conservative Iowa activists.

“That is a pro-choice position,” Bob Vander Plaats, a social conservative leader in Iowa, told The Huffington Post. “It’s not where we’re at on the issue and it’s not where a lot of caucus-goers are at on the life issue. They believe Roe v. Wade should be overturned.”

Cain put out a statement late in the day on Thursday trying to clarify his position, but he still did not address the 1973 Supreme Court decision that legalized abortion, raising questions about whether he believes in the legal right to abortion despite his strenuous rhetoric in the past claiming to be, in his own words, “pro-life.”

This is Cain’s “Kerry” moment of being “For it, before he was against it.” Everyone knows Cain is only running to boost his speaking fees. But when word leaks out that he’s a closet baby killer, he’ll be lucky to get paid to deliver a pizza.  And he can forget about a tip.–BEREZ

               
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This post was written by BerezObama on October 21, 2011 Comments Off

BACHMANN TURNOVER OVERDRIVE: Staff Quits

"My staff's working for Rick Perry??? That guy's crazier than me!"

The New Hampshire staff for Rep. Michele Bachmann’s (R-Minn.) presidential campaign are said to have all quit, with one of the staffers joining Texas Gov. Rick Perry’s (R) campaign.

Bachmann said there was “no truth to that story,” adding that she was shocked to hear claims that her Granite State staff was fleeing, but an adviser to Perry confirmed to The Hill that former Bachmann staffer Caroline Gigler was joining Perry’s campaign.

In addition to Gigler, Jeff Chidester, Nicole Yurek, Matthew LeDuc and Tom Lukacz all quit the campaign, New Hampshire’s WMUR first reported.

“I have no idea where this came from, but we’ve made calls and it’s certainly not true,” Bachmann said Friday on Radio Iowa.

Today, Bachmann’s whole New Hampshire staff quits and most are now out of a job.  Tomorrow,  she blames this increase in unemployment on Obama.–BEREZ

               
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This post was written by BerezObama on October 21, 2011 Comments Off

BREAKING NEWS!: Marco Rubio full of Shit

I'm telling you for the last time, don't trust that guy over there!

Miami, Florida (CNN) – Florida Republican Sen. Marco Rubio is calling allegations that he embellished his family’s history of immigrating to the United States. from Cuba, “outrageous.”

“To suggest my family’s story is embellished for political gain is outrageous,” Rubio said in a statement issued by his office on Thursday. “The dates I have given regarding my family’s history have always been based on my parent’s recollections of events that occurred over 55 years ago and which were relayed to me by them more than two decades after they happened. I was not made aware of the exact dates until very recently.”

The rising young star in the Republican Party, issued the statement after in essence being called out in a Washington Post article which points out that Rubio’s biography on his official Senate website says that his parents, “came to America following Fidel Castro’s takeover.”

A super ambitious, super aggressive, ruthless demagogue lies about his past to embellish his political future and fortunes???  I refuse to believe it.–BEREZ

               
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This post was written by BerezObama on October 21, 2011 Comments Off

Obama Ends Iraq War, Starts one with G.O.P.

Hey, Mitt. Now you get to explain why we should stay. Good luck with that.

(CNN) — President Barack Obama on Friday announced that virtually all U.S. troops will come home from Iraq by the end of the year — at which point he can declare an end to America’s long and costly war in that Middle Eastern nation.

“After nearly nine years, America’s war in Iraq will be over, Obama said. “The coming months will be a season of homecomings. Our troops in Iraq will definitely be home for the holidays.”

Of the 39,000 troops in Iraq, about 150, a negligible force, will remain to assist in arms sales, a U.S. official told CNN. The rest will be out of Iraq by December 31.

There were a lot of reasons for pulling our troops out and each of them could fit on a bumper sticker. There are also a lot of arguments for staying.  Long, complicated, nuanced arguments.  Hey, G.O.P.! Welcome to our world!  And good luck getting our attention to explain them, especially when you have to compete with tonight’s Jersey Shore finale.–BEREZ

               
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This post was written by BerezObama on October 21, 2011 Comments Off

U.N. to Investigate Gadhafi “Crossfire” Death

Happy Halloween! I think we know who's gonna win best costume.

Tripoli, Libya (CNN) — The United Nations and two major human rights groups called for an investigation into the death of Moammar Gadhafi on Friday amid questions over the last moments of the late Libyan strongman’s life.

“There seem to be four or five different versions of how he died,” the Office of the U.N. High Commissioner for Human Rights said in a statement. “More details are needed to ascertain whether he was killed in the fighting or after his capture.”

There’s no need to investigate.  Gadhafi was clearly killed in “crossfire.”  When the bullet that killed him CROSSED from the front of his skull to the back.–BEREZ

               
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This post was written by BerezObama on October 21, 2011 Comments Off

More From the (Animal) Kingdom: Saudi Woman Whipped for Driving

Ten lashes for driving?! That's outrageous! Five lashes would've been just fine.

Just days after Saudi Arabia’s king announced landmark voting reforms for women, female activist Shaima Ghassaniya was sentenced to 10 lashes for defying the nation’s ban on driving, according to fellow activists. The ruling is the first of its kind—women have been jailed before for operating a vehicle, but not sentenced. There is no actual law on the books in Saudi Arabia that prohibits women from driving, but religious edicts have forbidden it. Women, King Abdullah announced on Sunday, will be able to vote in 2015.

Berez is no fan of Saudi Arabia.  With there 100s of billions of barrels of oil, they’ve become both our crack dealer and our pimp.  And we continually turn a blind eye to their medieval transgressions.  This is a “text-book” abusive relationship and we don’t even have the balls to make them sleep on the couch for one night.–BEREZ

               
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This post was written by BerezObama on September 27, 2011 Comments Off

Tonight the Lights went out in Georgia: Davis Executed

Not sure if he deserves to be on that table. No one does. That's the whole point.

The U.S. Supreme Court denied a last-minute stay of execution for Troy Davis after a delay to weigh arguments from Davis’ legal team and the state of Georgia over whether his execution should be blocked.

The court’s decision to deny the stay came after 10 p.m. ET, more than three hours after Davis’ execution originally was scheduled today. The court did not comment on its decision.

Davis was convicted of the 1989 murder of Savannah, Ga., policeman Mark MacPhail, and had his execution stayed four times over the course of his 22 years on death row, but multiple legal appeals during that time failed to prove his innocence.

The execution now is expected to occur by 11 p.m. ET.

It is beyond a reasonable doubt that we can no longer take Georgia seriously.  Not that we really ever could.  They will always just be Florida’s weird red-headed step-sister.–BEREZ

               
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This post was written by BerezObama on September 21, 2011 Comments Off